GOD IS THE DESIGNER. HIS WORD IS OUR BLUEPRINT. HIS SPIRIT IS OUR GUIDE.
And His way is better. Come learn with me. 💜
HEY SIS, I’M NIC.
I thought saying “I do” made me a wife.
And technically, it did.
I’m Nicole Star “Next Level Nic” Crumpler. Wife. Mom. Woman of faith. Student. And after twenty years of marriage… still becoming.
I’m not here because I’ve mastered marriage. I’m here because I’ve lived some life. I’ve loved well. I’ve gotten some things right. I’ve gotten some things very wrong.
I’ve prayed for God to change my husband and had Him turn the mirror back toward me.
I’ve experienced beautiful seasons in marriage. And I’ve experienced seasons that made me wonder whether we’d make it. We did. And I’m so grateful.
Because somewhere between the woman who said “I do” and the woman writing this today, God did something I didn’t expect: He used my marriage to grow me.
And How Do You Spell W.I.F.E.? is my way of sharing what I’m learning while continuing to learn right alongside you.
I’m not standing above you saying: “Here’s how to do it.”
I’m pulling up a chair saying: “Sis… look what I’m learning.”
STILL BECOMING
Not perfect. Better.
And technically, it did. But what I didn’t know then was just how much marriage would teach me about me.
Marriage has exposed me. Challenged me. Humbled me. Healed me. Made me laugh until my stomach hurt. Made me pray prayers I didn’t know I needed. And introduced me to versions of myself I’m proud of… and a few versions I never want to meet again!
Some of the lessons I’ve learned over the last twenty years? I wouldn’t wish the circumstances that taught them on anybody. But I can’t deny what God produced through them. I’m not this woman without them.
I’m wiser. More self-aware. More compassionate. More accountable. More intentional about the way I love. I’m a better woman. And I’m a better wife.
Not perfect. Better. And I’m still becoming.
So… how do you spell W.I.F.E.?
That’s the question, isn’t it?
When I first became a wife, I had ideas about what marriage was supposed to look like. Some came from what I’d seen. Some from what I’d experienced. Some from culture. Some from expectations I didn’t even realize I had. And then there was what God said.
The longer I’ve been married—and the more I’ve studied—the more I’ve realized that God didn’t create marriage and then leave us to figure it out for ourselves. Marriage was His idea. So if I want to understand marriage, I want to keep going back to the One who designed it. Not because His way is always the easiest. But because I’ve lived enough life to know: His way is better.
That’s what How Do You Spell W.I.F.E.? is really about. Not giving you Nicole’s formula for a perfect marriage. I don’t have one! Not telling women to smile more, submit harder, pray longer, or carry the responsibility for keeping a marriage together by themselves. That’s not what we’re doing here.
We’re studying. We’re asking questions. We’re having honest conversations. We’re examining ourselves. We’re learning. We’re laughing. We’re growing. And we’re continually bringing our understanding of marriage back to God and saying: “Teach me Your way.”
THIS IS THE HEARTBEAT OF HDYSW.
God’s Design. My Becoming. Our Choosing.
01
God’s Design
What did God actually intend for marriage?
02
My Becoming
Marriage doesn’t only reveal your spouse. It reveals you.
We’ll talk about identity, healing, expectations, communication, past wounds, control, bitterness, comparison, accountability, emotional maturity—and what happens when God uses marriage as one of the places where He develops us.
Not: “How do I fix my husband?” But more of: “God, what are You showing me about me?”
03
Our Choosing
Because marriage isn’t lived out in theory. It’s lived out on regular Tuesdays. 😂
In conversations. In conflict. In bedrooms. In budgets. Carpools. Parenting. Date nights. Apologies. Inside jokes. In difficult seasons. In beautiful seasons. In learning the person beside you again and again after both of you have changed.
Marriage is covenant lived out through thousands of choices. And one of the most beautiful ones is: I still choose you.
AND THIS IS ALSO A LOVE STORY.
Baby, I’d still choose you.
I couldn’t build HDYSW without telling you that. Because when I talk about what marriage has taught me, I’m talking about a life I’ve shared with someone I deeply love.
My husband has known so many versions of me. The woman I was when we met. The woman he married. The woman who became a mother. The woman who was hurt. The woman who had healing to do. The woman who had growing to do. And this woman.
We’ve laughed. We’ve fought. We’ve prayed. We’ve disappointed each other. We’ve forgiven each other. We’ve raised children. We’ve built a life. We’ve made memories. We’ve grown up together. And through all those seasons… we kept choosing each other.
So yes, HDYSW is about becoming a wife God’s way. But in many ways, it’s also an ode to my husband. A thank-you. For the life we’ve built. For the lessons we’ve learned. For the grace we’ve given each other. For continuing to choose me while God was still working on me. And for giving me twenty years’ worth of reasons to say:
Baby, I’d still choose you. 💜
THIS SPACE IS FOR YOU IF…
There’s Room for Your Season
You love your husband and still recognize that loving someone well requires intention.
You’re happily married and want to steward what God has given you well.
You’re in a difficult season and need wisdom, hope, and honest conversation.
You’re newly married and discovering that “I do” was really just the beginning.
You’ve been married for decades and know there’s still more to learn.
You’re preparing for marriage and want more than wedding advice—you want wisdom for the covenant.
You’re trying to understand biblical wifehood beyond clichés and sound bites.
You want to grow without losing yourself.
Or maybe you’re simply willing to pray: “God, teach me how to do this Your way.” Pull up a chair, sis. You belong here.
START HERE
7 Questions Every Wife Should Ask Before She Blames Her Marriage
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that sometimes what we’re seeing isn’t only about what’s happening in front of us.
We’re also seeing through what happened behind us.
Past experiences. Assumptions.
Comparison. Control.
Unspoken expectations. Old wounds.
That’s why I created The Lens Check.
Inside you'll find:
It’s a free seven-day reflection designed to help you slow down, sit with Scripture,
ask yourself honest questions, pray,
and invite God to show you what may be shaping the way you see yourself, your husband, and your marriage.
This isn’t: “Here’s what’s wrong with you.” And it definitely isn’t: “Everything in your marriage is your fault.”
It’s simply an invitation to ask: “God, is there something You want me to see differently?”
Get Your Free Lens Check
Start Your Seven-Day Reflection
COMING DECEMBER 6, 2026
Real Marriage Talk. God at the center.
How Do You Spell W.I.F.E.? Coming December 6, 2026.
There’s a reason I chose that date. It’s our 20th wedding anniversary.
Twenty years after saying “I do,” I’m opening up the conversations I wish someone had opened with me.
Some episodes will begin with Scripture. Some with something I’m studying. Some with a lesson marriage taught me the hard way. Some with a conversation with my husband. Some with another wife. Some with an expert who can help us understand something I can’t teach.
And some may begin with: “Sis… you are NOT going to believe what happened at my house this week.” 😂 Because that’s marriage too.
We’ll talk about God’s design. We’ll talk about our becoming. We’ll talk about choosing each other. And we’ll keep asking the question: How do you spell W.I.F.E.?
I wish someone would’ve told me…
Marriage is beautiful. And sometimes marriage is hard. Both can be true.
There are things I wish another wife had pulled me aside and whispered before I walked down the aisle.
Things about communication. Sex. Expectations. Forgiveness. Friendship. Money. Intimacy. Bitterness. Submission. Motherhood. Identity. Conflict. Healing. Fun.
And what happens when the person you married changes… because you changed too.
Those are the conversations we’re going to have here. Not polished marriage talk. Real marriage talk—with God at the center.
Want to be the first to know when it launches?
Check the box when you get The Lens Check, and I’ll send you a personal invite when Episode 1 drops.
I don’t think I’ll ever stop learning the answer. And that’s exactly why I want you on this journey with me.
THE HDYSW COMMUNITY
You were never meant to figure this out alone.
We’re so much better together…
We’re building a community of women willing to learn, grow, laugh, pray, ask difficult questions, celebrate beautiful marriages, support women in difficult seasons, and continually return to God’s design.
No perfect-wife performance. No husband-bashing. No shame. No pretending. Just women committed to becoming.
Twenty years in… I’m still learning. And if you are too? Pull up a chair. Let’s figure out this wife thing—together. 💜
A final word from Nic
I don’t know what season of love you’re in as you read this.
Maybe marriage is beautiful right now. Enjoy it. Steward it. Thank God for it.
Maybe it’s hard. Seek wisdom. Get support. Tell the truth. Don’t suffer silently.
Maybe marriage hasn’t happened for you yet. Wherever you are, remember:
Being a wife isn’t about performing a role perfectly. It’s about continually allowing God to shape you into the best version of you.
I’m still letting Him shape me. And twenty years later, I’m grateful for the woman I’m becoming… and incredibly grateful for the man I get to become beside.
Here’s to God’s design. Here’s to becoming. And here’s to continuing to choose love.
Love you, later 💜 — Nic